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Re: E-M:/ States stake claim to Great Lakes

I wrote this spoof a few days ago not knowing the real thing was coming....
The silence was deafening from the other Michigan lists. Do people really feel that powerless? If this were on one of the coasts, it would have caused a riot. Jobs aren't everything. We have got to get the word out...
Mike Cohn
(begin spoof)
Republicans announced plans Memorial Day to pump water from the Great Lakes through pipelines to the states that have shown the greatest loyalty to the troops since 2001. By default, those end up being red states - who's citizens voted Republican one or more times in the last eight years - a heated debate that is quickly evaporating hopes of a less emotional solution to the water problem. The plan does not include efficiency measures red states must maintain or a cap on the amount of water that can be pumped and could actually cause the lakes to run dry affecting shipping as well as tourism and lives.
Environmentalists in Michigan are alarmed by what they call a theft of natural resources they have diligently maintained while those same red states refused to implement water conservation and environmental protection plans recommended by water and non-profit groups for decades.
"Water welfare is ok when it benefits conservatives. This is no different than corporate welfare. At least with corporate welfare they could claim profits would trickle down to the rest of us" said Gillian Mead, board supervisor of Sanislaus County Michigan.
But trickle down profits is exactly how Republicans are describing the benefits of their water hijack plan. "Michigan doesn't support the troops, they are pro union which is why they don't have jobs and they refuse to vote patriotically or religiously. They don't deserve the water they have. Besides, they are losing population while Red States are gaining population. Obviously people want to be Republican and they ought to have water. The water we get will actually be used to create jobs Michigan can't create because of greedy unions. Red States want to build bottled water plants, but we don't have water". That's what senate hound and plan ambassador Luke Jenkins thinks. Jenkins is part of the consortium of companies led by PepsiCo and Lennar Homes to divert the water.
Back in Michigan, there are genuine fears - "We don't have enough water as it is. Our lake levels are dropping in some cases. We're lucky if they stay stable, but they aren't. What we need are requirements to use waterless urinals in new construction and waterless lawn programs to start. Many companies are already familiar with low flow faucets but that's not enough. We have to be much more radical". Joel MacIntyre of Sustainable Design Associates isn't the only one who thinks that. Political activist Stephanie Love also agrees - "this plan is completely irresponsible. A massive, expensive pipeline to the south so they don't have to conserve. It's no different than saying we need to invade Iran so we won't have to drive hybrids. It's just plain stupid."
Love did say that high tension powerlines from south to north full of solar power does make sense because the south can produce more solar electricity than it can use. The water relocation program however, simply decrees that water will be pumped until the lakes are dry. But Love doesn't condede to trading solar power for water. Conservation is her main agenda. She and others like Rocky Mountain Institute and Union of Concerned Scientists claims 70% of all water, energy and materials are wasted by inefficient use.
Republicans who debate and deny that number are trounced as being spoiled children who cry that they can't get by on a college allowance from their parents of $5,000 a month. As populations increase, choices are going to have to be made. Steal water and oil - or use it more efficiently.
Nuclear power could be the answer according to Jenkins. "If we accelerate the melting of the polar ice caps with nuclear power and pipe that water south before it melts into the ocean, it's cheaper than desalination and I can still water my lawn like a normal person" said Jenkins, adding "but liberals don't think nuclear power is good. They would rather live like hippies in caves".
The debate over water however is not one that will run out of energy however. Democrats have proposed a counter measure that seals off the lakes from states that aren't tapped in now, caps useage from existing tapped states and calls for radical water conservation well in advance for any new state that wants to buy the water. And they plan on raising prices for that water above what is considered normal to motivate conservation.
But even activists admit it will be hard to get that law passed in Michigan due to "vote poisoning" from local water bottlers like PepsiCo and Coca Cola who operate bottled beverage plants in Michigan who allegedly use the tactic to influence local voters to vote for those who protect employer interests thereby taking advatage of Michigan's bad economy and desperation. They even claim that Michigan could become a red state once the last union strongholds are reduced and locals don't see a need for Democratic party protection. At that point, the water diversion program will be guaranteed.
Love continued: "If we don't pass laws pre-empting water theft of our lakes or at least requiring radical conservation to be implemented by those states who want to buy our water for a price BEFORE we sell it to them, we will die. Period. The waste we are commiting now cannot be sustained. Radical water conservation is the only answer and the good news is it doesn't have to impact the quality of life we already have. Trendy green buildings have already proved that you can live beautifully and save money and resources at the same time. Nobody is going to have to live in a cave."

On Thu, May 29, 2008 at 6:57 AM, <HAMILTREEF@aol.com> wrote:
The Michigan Republicans are still confident they can force their GL diversion loopholes in place.  As a two front attack they are also working hard to retain their corruption majority in the Michigan state supreme court to help them expand the loopholes in the future.  It was the Republican controlled court that violated the "Public Trust" to privatize public ground waters for their corporate campaign contributors.
States stake claim to Great Lakes
Wisconsin joins pact to limit access to water; Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania remain
The new oil
States, cities and countries have been arguing over water rights for decades, but the fights -- often called water wars -- have taken on a heightened sense of national and international urgency in light of prolonged droughts, mounting evidence of climate change and, closer to home, declining lake levels. The drought-stricken Spanish port of Barcelona, for instance, is now shipping in drinking water from large tankers.

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