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Re: Golf Courses

the following was posted today to the ECDM list in response to a newbie's
question, "can anyone give me info about golf and the environment".

The nice person below gave some great web sites. Another person, not so
nice, had a tantrum about people too lazy to do their own research.
Although his flame was a little extreme in my opinion, he did attach a
wonderfully snide yet not vicious "do your homework first" post from someone
else who is bothered by clueless "please tell me what is the environment"
posts.  I am posting all of it below, and plan to keep the "The library is a
wonderful place..." response for my own collection of "just in case" responses.

Please note that my inclusion of the flames is NOT a direct response to Jeff
Halsey's quite specific request for information which of course does not
deserve flaming.

Burt Hamner

>Dear XXX
>I believe the following web sites may be helpful.  As a courtesy, please
report back to this list on the results of your investigations of their
contents relating to your research project.
>Roger M. Guttentag

The Listmember wrote:

"If any one cold give me any pertinent info it would be greatly appriciated.

Apart from this being another illiterate post, i.e., containing numerous
spelling errors in this case, we have yet again a textbook case of "Please
feed me...I'm totally helpless!"

The "any pertinent info" you're looking for would fill a wing of the Library
of Congress! So, you better get the hell out of your pajamas and get over to
the library and start doing some research! The people on the other end of
these absolutely inane, totally open-ended "requests" are not your personal
Web robots who supply "ANY pertinent info" on command. What research have
you done on this? Have you done anything whatsoever?

Come back with a specific, carefully calculated question THE ANSWER TO WHICH
others...I'm not the only one aggravated by these inane posts) give you a
less vitriolic response. IN FACT, I'LL GLADLY BE THE FIRST TO HELP YOU GET
THE IMPOSSIBLE-TO-GET DATA. But, don't post something stupid until you've
actually done some work yourself. And, frankly, if in the first instance
you're going to act like a jackass by posting what you did, then you deserve
this response, IN FACT I'M NOT BEING POINTED ENOUGH. Do you get the message
or need I be even more explicit?

See below for some great additional sarcasm on this new Internet problem!

Sincerely yours,
Kevin Gainer

>>>>There is this building on campus where you go to college.  It is called
a library.  Usually these are fairly large buildings.  They are filled
with things called books.  Books are like two pieces of cardboard with
paper pages inside.  These pages inside, well, they contain much of the
knowledge of the world.

When you go to the library (which I am afraid you must do), you will
want to talk with the "librarian."  Librarians are real experts at how
to find things and put together research, bibliographies and other
pertinent searches on a narrowly defined thesis.

Ask to speak with the librarian and explain to him/her that you are
unfamiliar with how libraries work.  You need not explain a lot.
Librarians are very non-judgemental with nubies.

Since there are literally hundreds of books and perhaps thousands of
periodicals and countless other resources on <golf, environment, whatever> 
you should attempt to
define, as narrowly as possible, what you wish to write your paper on.

Having figured that out, you will actually need to leaf through and
<gasp> read many books and periodicals and other resources to be able to
write a comprehensive and intelligent paper.

If, after studying the general issues you have some specific questions,
please don't hesitate to ask - just make sure that they are very
specific as people just aren't into writing theses for students who
don't like do their legwork.

Version 2:  

There is this building, there is at least one in every city and usually
more than one on every campus.  It is called a Library.  In days of
yore, intelligent people or people seeking intelligence on a particular
topic or even on broad and limitless topics such as yours, would amble
down to the library.  We used to search thru little cards and gain an
understanding for something called the Dewey Decimal System.  Later, in
the more recent history of Libraries, cards were abandoned and computer
terminals installed.  Life was so good.  I remember in days of yore as
a student at UC Berkeley, the advent of computers meant that one could so
easily search the 6 million plus books without having to spread every
card file on the many tables.  It was a heady time.

Somewhere things went awry.  The internet came and suddenly students
thought they could avoid going to the library and many idiotic demands
that people squeeze their own libraries thru the pipeline in
abbreviated form so that today's students would not need to read, study,
explore or

Dearest, it is nothing more than a pipedream.  If you have no desire
to learn and wish to have your head filled with other peoples
information, you will always be mentally stunted as no one, absolutely
no one can fulfill your need for information like you yourself can.

Now, turn off your computer, get out of your pajamas and go to the
Library.  It will, I am sure be a new and strange experience.  It will
be difficult and perhaps painful for you to fathom that all knowledge
shall not be placed on a plate for you, that you must get it, chew it
and digest it yourself.  I promise you will be a much better person for

Reprinted with permission from "Linda Joy's Invective Pearls of Netiquette

Linda Joy Weinstein, AIA
WizOp, The Architecture & Building Forum
Vice Chair AIA National Computer-Aided Practice
GO ARCH within CompuServe