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Re: Holiday P2

Carrie Monosmith asked (in part) --

> Happy Holidays All-
> Does anyone know of, or have a compilation of holiday p2 tips, i.e Xmas, 
> Hanukkah, etc. related?  I would like to share it with our Michigan DEQ staff

Carrie --

I have seen such lists, but don't recall where; I am certain that someone more 
resourceful will come through for you.  In the mean time, feel free to share the
P2 version of "The Night Before Christmas" that I subjected this list to last 

I'd like to say that I've reposted it in response to popular demand.  Alas, 
that's not the case -- I just thought that as long as we are in the Holiday 
re-run season, I should keep up with the times.....

Regards (and Happy Holidays),
Scott Butner

          Twas the Night Before Christmas
by Scott Butner, Battelle Seattle Research Center
(with sincere apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the plant
nary a creature was stirring, not even an ant.
The permits were hung in the control room with care
in case an inspector was lurking somewhere

The directors were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of profits danced in their heads.
But waste costs had risen so much the last year,
the profits were slipping and a pink slip I fear'd

The fumes and the vapors, the sludge and the toxins;
the myriad waste drums on the loading docks, and
the fines, the insurance, the public reaction
were all cutting in on the profitable action

Then out in the tank farm there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my desk to see what's the matter.
I called the plant manager, fearing a leak
then ran to the monitors, to take a peek

I looked for the source of the hassle and noise,
but all I could spy were the maintenance boys.
When what to my wondering eye should appear
but a P2 consultant and eight tiny reindeer.

A seasoned New Englander, so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it must be Pojasek
More rapid than eagles, the acronyms flew
He knew all the regs, save one or two

Now RCRA, Now OSHA, 
Now EMAS and ISO
P2 planning and TRI, so
To the top of the boiler!  
To the top of the stack!
Cut back those emissions
there's no turning back!
 He said not to worry, he said not to fret
"Though things may look bad, they're not over yet
You can stop pollution, and still make a buck
Part of it's skill, and part of it's luck"

"We've got to try new things," he said without blinking
"Like Design for Environment and lifecycle thinking!
Zero emissions and Industrial Ecology"
(He could say things like that, without apology)

His eyes -- how they twinkled!  He broke into laughs!
As he showed us his flip charts and overhead graphs
He ran through the plant suggesting fixes
"to start with," he said, "consider new product mixes."
The stump of a pipe he held in his fist
"I looked at your parts washer and here's the gist:
You wouldn't need solvent, so foul, so smelly
If you'd stop packing parts in petroleum jelly."

HVLP and countercurrent rinsing
high tech solutions and low-tech penny pinching
New paints and new coatings, and closed-circuit cooling
Full cost accounting and TQM-tooling

Terpene solutions and recycled containers
"It won't be easy but I don't want no complainers!"
Buying recycled, and waste exchanges
these are just some of the possible changes!

And finally he sped off, another customer was calling
but already I could see my waste costs were falling.
My emissions were halved, my permits were moot
and we'd just gotten done with the low hanging fruit!

So he sprang to his car (a big 'ol Range Rover)
and said "I' must be leaving, my work here is over."
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight
Happy P2 to all, and to all a good night!